My Lab

Why I am terrified of 2015!

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While it’s taken me 3 days to accept it’s a new year and much longer to write a post on my blog, I have been in a world of deep thought that has left me a little bit of a disarray.

You see, whilst I am excited for the New Year, I am absolutely crapping myself! Last year a lot of wonderful things fell into place, it was probably the best year I have had in a very long time and like every great party, I didn’t want it to end! Why? Because as marvellous 2015 is going to be, there is going to be a lot of pushing up sleeves and no time for anything but hard-work! But the even scarier thought? Whilst I know I am capable of making all this magic happen, whilst I am stupendously excited and passionate about getting it done. I am not ready for it and I know I’m not. But 2015 is here, so what now?

Every year I would look forward to the New Year after having a bad year so I would welcome January 1st with open arms and the hope of anything being possible, and that is the gorgeous thing about the New Year, it provides hope and a fresh start to those who need it. Every year I would (literally) cry happily at midnight due to an overwhelming sense of gratitude that I get to have another go at another year to start again and make something happen. Well 2014 I did and now I just have to keep it going and grow it. For someone who has had to “start over” every year this, growing and nurturing something is completely new and it’s scary. I won’t lie to you – I am terrified. But it does not mean that I am not going to do it.

One of things that I can proudly say about myself is that I can rise to a challenge when I need to and right now I do. This year holds a different kind of unknown territory, one that I will step into with the greatest of care and caution but with the reminder of why I am doing it. I love what I do, I have a vision of where I want it to go and whilst there is a plethora of hands out there just waiting to help I am that person that can steer it to that place but more importantly it’s up to me to reach out and take those hands because another thing I am bad at doing is accepting that I cannot always do it alone! I have no problem asking for help or accepting it but I have this big issue with feeling that I need to step-up and carry the weight all on my shoulders and allow people to cheer me on for support but not actually allowing them to carry some of the weight. Well here it is: I can’t do it all alone and I have promised myself that this year I won’t try to.

There is a lot to be done and it’s going to take a lot of resilience. I’m not ready for it at all but not everybody always is and sometimes, just taking the plunge is the best thing you can do. This year I am going to be brave and I want to encourage everybody that is feeling like they aren’t ready to be courageous too! Here is my 2015 mantra: Be kind to yourself, trust yourself and never be afraid to reach out for that help!

Happy New Year!

Jx

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